235. Reeking Beauty


Sleeping Beauty, First of Her Name , Thorn of the Briars, Aurora of the Disneys. What a problematic tale this can be.  In the very, very initial telling of this story, the princess is straight up sexually assaulted and gives birth to children. The children suckle her fingers which removes the curse.  Of course, she marries her aggressor, to make it even more traumatic. 

There's a pre-Disney version without even a kiss. In this version the prince just falls in love with the sleeping princess in the bed which wakes her, and they have a "meaningful conversation." Obviously this would not cut it in later versions, people wanted the non-consensual smooch. 

While it has kind of problematic origins, one of the most important lessons of this story is simple: Make sure you invite crotchety, reclusive ladies to your parties. Can you believe this is all because a fairy, witch, or whatever was irked for not being invited to a party? Jeesh talk about a harsh punishment!

One time, in High School I didn't get invited to a party and I snuck in and drank their booze, ate their food and failed at hitting on the ladies. I think that's like, adequate retribution, man. Sentencing a newborn to die at sixteen is a bit extra.


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