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Showing posts with the label Miscellaneous

249. Wretched Impermanence

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  The original idea for this comic was different than how it turned out. I imagined Jean-Paul Sartre and Jean Piaget  having a drink in a bar, both in  their 70s. Piaget goes, "Have I told you about the stages of human development I've discovered?" and Sartre goes "When do they learn that people suck?" I was going to title the comic "Jean Therapy", because I can't pronounce their names in their native tongues. If I was able to, it would be titled something like "Jeanalyze This". I am very aware that I shouldn't be left anywhere close to comedy, but it shows my process of just having these intrusive thoughts that become comics. Over the week, the idea became more about a baby having existentialistic thoughts when their solipsistic brain was left alone. Is it funny? No. Is it clever? No. But is it of significance? Again, no.  And yet I can't stop.

248. Cuppa Cop-Out

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As a young person, I loved evading responsibility. At one point as a child, that's all I wanted to do, avoid any and all responsibilities. I did pretty good there for a while. Somewhere along the way I messed up and got a few degrees, a couple of 9-5s, a wife and a few dogs. In my mind I'm still running, but in reality, I'm in the quicksand with all of you. The thing that stopped me is that I didn't want to be an abandoner. I know a lot of people don't care, but straight up walking out of your job often leaves a few innocents under duress, and they don't deserve that. As my marriage is teaching me, abandoning my responsibilities means hurting my loved one. And I need to be a better man. I guess to really succeed at having no responsibilities, one must have no one else around. I bet that’s why I love sprawling open-world video games. I can fantasize about having a super important, urgent quest, but choosing to collect leaves for the herbologist or clearing a base

247. Deus Sex Scandalum

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I've always been interested in mythology. It's often I wonder why the myths and legends from Egypt, Greece/Rome and the Norse get relegated to the fictional status of mythology, but the Old Testament, Buddhism and Islam became religions of current relevance. What made people go like ‘yeah that's too out there, I'll stick with my magic trumpets and the guy who turns water to wine and makes zombies.’ If you’re into mythology, I highly recommend Stephen Fry's audiobook, Mythos . He knows the subject incredibly well for a funny man, and he combines a breezy narrative with minute details around etymology and even disentangles competing narratives.  Learning mythology is one of those few things in this Post-Post Modernism that can make you say, 'our reality could be far worse'. Can you imagine, not only dealing with stupid, greedy humans but also with stupid, greedy deities? Not that crazy, come to think of it, as present day billionaires DO have some supernatural

244. Buzzkill

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Buzzkill is one of my favorite kinds of comedy. Whether it's Dana Carvey with his Open Wound Man , or Dracht in Debbie Downer  I can't have enough of these characters. It's where comedy goes to die and I'm all in. Probably explains why my comics are so globally unpopular (womp-womp)! One of my faves of all time: Steve Carrel an Kristen Wiig at an awards show.   Steve Carrel didn't break character!

243. Lizard Brains

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 Trying out one of my old comic ideas as a one panel.

241. Killer Formula

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I blame our base impulses. “Making a Murderer” showed us all how much we wanted to believe in people’s innocence against the police. The little guy was a victim of the shoddy and authoritarian police force! Yes, that may have been true in part but the victim is also an animal-torturing, woman stalking person who extremely likely did the murders when all the evidence is presented.  It started a wave of documentaries casting doubt on totally guilty people. We all want to believe the little guy against the system, like in Serial and others. But honestly, some of these peeps are bad mofos and do not need our defense.  What's next, a 7 season long doc on WW2? "Hitler: Victim of Nuremberg or Authoritarian Genocidal Maniac" Are we not entertained enough?

239. Distressing

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There's no way that Elon thought his move through. Some people hypothesize that he is playing 4-D chess, but honestly I doubt he's even playing Candyland. The only way I can see this purchase as successful is if his goal was curing people's addiction to Twitter or increasing the amount of dirt in the world.  Any wired person alive the past 20 years would have been able to tell you that his ideal Twitter was done in the past, but it was called 4-Chan. And what a cesspool that was. I won't deny I went there in search for memes when I was younger, but I always needed to wash my hands afterwards. And yes, I'm a bit bitter about the whole thing. I loved twitter for political analysis, art groups and just getting a relative feel about the world. Now, the opinions you see highlighted are just signaling that someone is dumb enough to pay Elon $8 a month. No credentials, no expertise, just money. I even made quite a bit of dough with my Twitter stock and still believe it was

238. Tired Talk

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Version 2: Hustle: Whenever I make the mistake of logging into LinkedIn, all I find are regurgitations of regurgitations of regurgitations. You'll find  posts titled "Don't fire your staff to success", and they get 10,000 likes and a few hundred 'amen's. "Your staff are people, too" 7,000 thinky faces and a few 'interesting take' comments.  Am I callous? Tired? Bored? Apathetic? Yes,  and I still I don't believe that every combination of uplifting words deserves such an enthusiastic response. Part of the problem is that everything in this current world is about churning content. You're incentivized with more followers and more opportunities the more you post stuff. Regardless of the stuff. Requotes, retweets, your opinion on an opinion on an opinion. This system makes even your most interesting contact sound like Stuart Smalley .  One time, I went with a good friend to one of these A-type events, like a Lollapalooza but only for peop

237. Chain Reactions

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I don't believe in karma in the spiritual sense of the word (I know, shocking!). I don't think that there's a tally of the good and bad you've done. I definitely don't believe in the more stripped down, colloquial view that if you do good you definitely get good back. There's no definite in this random world of ours.  What I do believe, is quite simple. If you do a good deed, the world has a +1 good deed. If you take a crap on society, the world has a +1 crap. The more crap in the world the more chance of getting crapped on. That should be good enough for people to do good things and avoid bad things, but nooooo. We need to have a set of invisible white-washed beings and multiple lives and heaven and hell and an invisible tally system to keep us in line.   I'm no saint. I've done things that in retrospect make me angry at myself. I've posted bile on the internet, I've taken people for granted, I've listened to and let gossip flourish, all whi

235. Reeking Beauty

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  Sleeping Beauty, First of Her Name , Thorn of the Briars, Aurora of the Disneys. What a problematic tale this can be.  In the very, very initial telling of this story, the princess is straight up sexually assaulted and gives birth to children. The children suckle her fingers which removes the curse.  Of course, she marries her aggressor, to make it even more traumatic.  There's a pre-Disney version without even a kiss. In this version the prince just falls in love with the sleeping princess in the bed which wakes her, and they have a "meaningful conversation." Obviously this would not cut it in later versions, people wanted the non-consensual smooch.  While it has kind of problematic origins, one of the most important lessons of this story is simple: Make sure you invite crotchety, reclusive ladies to your parties. Can you believe this is all because a fairy, witch, or whatever was irked for not being invited to a party? Jeesh talk about a harsh punishment! One time, in

233. Batshipping

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These two have been flirting with each other since day one! Sure the Joker technically murders Batman's first protégé in some universes, but that just screams of attention-seeking. Many times they've pondered that they wouldn't live without each other, so why not make it official? Who's your dream fictional 'ship'? For internet beginners, that's just relationshipping, putting characters  romantically together in ways the authors may or may not have intended. Don't google it though, it's a direct line to the internet's darkest corners! You may be wondering if Firefly's Kaylee and Malcom would've made a good pair and you end up with Eeyore getting railed by Tigger within like nanoseconds. Extra Panel:

231. Ancestaurs

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Some days, I have semi legit ideas. Other days I wake up with like ‘what if dinos evolved, and made all the same mistakes we are doing, before they died out’. It’s not my best work but, as you know, I am awful at throwing away ideas. And I have no ideas about how to make this one better.  So enjoy! I drew this while on a plane going on a necessary vacation. Last week I suffered from a severe depressive episode, a stronger one than I’ve had in a long time. As quick as it came, it left (obligatory ‘that’s what she said’) so everything is peachy again. I do love that slowly but surely discussions about mental health are being destigmatized. One of our senators in the USA committed himself for a severe and lasting episode and I just wonder what did high profile people do in the past? Did they hide, drink, or made terminal bad decisions? Reach out if you ever want to talk, I’m a firm believer in surviving this.  Don’t know when the next comic one will come or even if it will be as bad as th

230. Seeing Red

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In the very original works, the Red Riding Hood character is simply eaten by the wolf.  In future versions, she tortures the wolf by performing a macabre surgery that eventually and painfully kills it. In a second part made by the Grimm's, she even hunts down another wolf! What can I say, I love picturing a Red Riding Hood who, far from a victim, chased down wolves to murder for the rest of her life.  Extra panel:  Rejected ideas. Do you have more? I'll draw them!

227. Psychology Car Assessments

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You may hate this post, but it is entirely accurate and based on peer-reviewed data (drunken conversations with my friends). Individuality; what a slippery slope that is. Too little, and you are prone to manipulations and targeted ads.  Too much, and they may name a disease after you.  Symbols have been so interesting in the United States lately. The untrod snek used to mean a rebellious person in love with their inalienable rights, but now you see it next to pleas for abortion prohibitions. You may see a love sticker to Jesus, next to a beloved cartoon peeing on your feelings. Confederate flags in cars with license plates that didn't lose the Civil War.  However, in general, you can always tell the type of people behind the wheel with more accuracy than your typical Buzzfeed quiz. If you disagree, sound off in the comments!

225. Rules Of Engagement

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I think the moral of the story here is, uhm, not to subcontract your proposal. It was easier to avoid doing that before. Nowadays, it seems you have to have a photographer, a scriptwriter and a social media intern, just to get hitched. Back in the old days (2015) you just arm-wrestled the lady’s dad and ran a few fetch quests for the mom. But, no, things have to be so complicated and showy these days. You can’t just like find out what sex your child will be, you gotta invite a few people and risk first-degree burns. You have to film the whole thing and have a commentary track, explaining exactly how much C4 you used on the giant paper mache uterus.  None of the young people these days get to be engaged spontaneously with a 30-cent ring, drunk off your asses and each other in a foreign shore, and it shows. Honestly I feel bad for my fellow introverts, this new world seems to have a higher and higher cost for just living and being present. You have to be there with intensity, with video

224. Market Bear

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I love stonks! I'm a boring stock owner though, no options, no meme stocks, no timing the market. I buy companies that I believe will have growth over 10 years and I hold them.  It's literally the watching-glaciers-melt of the stock world, but it's served me well. During the height of our last bull market I got a bit carried away and tested out some new things, like options, meme stocks and a few alt coins. I won some and lost some more last year, but it felt a lot more like gambling than investing.  I met tons of peeps like my version of Cocaine Bear during that time. They all gave me the whole stock-broker-on-copious-amounts-of-blow vibe. Because what could go wrong when you combine financial decisions with a drug that makes you feel unbeatable and overfilled with confidence? I can't wait for the movie Cocaine Bear, but I think my version would be fly AF too.  

222. Literally Guilty

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  To be completely honest, I didn't read Flowers in The Attic. Somehow a school friend read it or saw the movie and then told me the plot. Just this second hand retelling was enough to traumatize my young head. Incest, death and starvation will do that to you. It's crazy how trauma works, I dont remember what I had for dinner yesterday (Sorry Noom!), but I remember clearly the retelling of this story or the section in IT with the crawling eye or Luke losing his hand. Extra Panel: For some reason, my dad showed me Carrie when I was but a young lad. The image of the pig blood running down her face is burned in my hippocampus even more permanently than looking both ways to cross the street. Crazy stuff, trauma!  Notes: Our friend Tommy constantly tells me I should do one panels. I owe him one so, this is my attempt at that!

221. Dystopian Demons

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Deep, deep inside, I am an optimist. I don't let that side of me come out that often, because I think death, dystopia and destruction are way funnier and more entertaining.  I question my own use of a city as an example of humanity in disarray, but visually, it's the best way I could come up to display all of the stuff we are capable of doing in one panel. Personally my dystopia is a farmhouse upstate with neighborhood patrols and heavily armed "good guys" making sure there's no undesirables. A place where you need to use a car for everything you do and where solitude and a diet of everclear and deer makes you wonder if that Trump guy had some valid points. The kind of place in which you can yell at the wind and wonder when the open border policy you learned about in your loud cable news show will show up at your door. That’s hell on earth for me! Extra panel: 

217. Coverup

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One of the biggest ironies of the world is that to keep safe the things we love we have to hide their beauty from the world. Ferraris live under tarps, fine jewelry in old wooden boxes and our phones on cases or with nasty screen protectors. I'm sure that's why my wife buys me hideous shirts, to keep me safe from predators. Just kidding, I'm just checking up t see if she still reads my blog. Growing up in Venezuela I learned at an early age to hide any wealth. "They'll kill you for your shoes!", I often heard. And they sure did sometimes. My interest in shiny things has never been vast, even after I emigrated. It's telling that I have the ugliest car and shoes in the team of 27 I work with, and I'm the manager! The only time I see the special edition colors of my phones are 30 minutes after I buy them and 1 week before I trade them. Extra Panel: Padme with a Case  

210. Highfalutin Ride

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My wife came up with this one and I manically drew it over the weekend. It made me remember why I married my wife. For some men, the keys to their heart is in their stomach. I don't get that. Does that mean I'm in a long term relationship with Grubhub? Because outside of making my tummy happy, Grubhub is not my type at all.  By about our third date, Roxanne was the funniest woman I had ever met. The first two dates she accomplished by being gorgeous, smart and interesting. The rest she got by making me laugh or by joining me in laughter. Sometimes my deadpan humor misses the mark for her. I'm sure when I actually have really sad news for her she'll laugh thinking it's a joke. Strangely enough, I think I'd like that.  Drawing and making these stupid cartoons was mostly her doing. As I started doing them she was lavish with praise, in a way I've never been able to elicit through my cooking, homemaking and love making skills. So I knew I had to bank on it! (Thi