265. Puppet Show



Let me begin this by saying that in the current contest, I will vote for Biden happily and heartily. I am a Biden apologist, I’ve liked him since the Obama years. His gaffes are the gaffes of a boomer who has seen the world evolve and is trying to stay with it and not against it. 

That said, he’s old AF. Trump is old AF. This makes me out to be an ageist, I believe. In my defense, most of my friends will be octogenarians. Here’s the thing, I don’t think that these candidates are too old to do the job, I just think that the crown could have been ceded to a properly coached and introduced successor with enough time. They’ve both experienced their share of success, shouldn’t the goal be to show humility and sweep the floor in front of newer generations?

I don’t know if it’s because of internal polling or because of ego that Biden is considered the best choice for the United States. Whatever intel they used may have been flawed. In my mind, I dreamt of a Biden introducing some of his favored politicians during his term and allowing them to primary. But what do I know, I made a comic about weed-smoking chihuahuas.

I know it feels like I’m just beatin’ on Biden, but Trump is unsalvageable. Do you imagine that low-confidence turd handing his crown to anyone? Admitting he’s not the best man for the job? Doing anything ethically good for the world? Growing some balls and showing some vulnerability?

I’ve come to realize what the problem is with Trump. He only appeals to the self aware a-hole sector. Not all Republicans are a-holes, but if you’re an a-hole and you know it, you support Trump. He’s the Grand Wizard of being a douchebag. He’s the Douche & Gabanna of bags. It is known.

Just to reiterate who I would crawl on broken glass to the repeated sounds of Enya to vote for this November: it’s Biden.

In fact, here’s a list of people I would vote for over Trump:

I would vote for that person  next to you in the concert that is recording the concert even though they know very well that nobody, including them, will ever watch it -over Trump.

I would vote for the guy that stole our first girlfriends -over Trump.

I would vote for the engineer who makes sure our new dishwashers, dryers, toasters and cars aren’t as good as they were 30 years ago -over Trump.

How about you, reader…who would you vote over Trump? 

When I showed this comic to my friend Oeremy, he astutely replied that it’s more like this:








Comments

Post a Comment

Say some words, if you’d like!

Popular posts from this blog

92. Never Google Your Doppleganger

Image
In my lifetime I have been told that I look exactly like some people that I would consider to be not perfect replicas of me. Maybe I have a better self esteem than I project, but I feel like I don’t look like “ The Critic ”; as was earnestly expressed by a girl on a (first and only) date. Other twinsies I’ve been professed to have: Steven Wright Tony Hale Stephen Miller (Aaaaargh) Dr. Katz I don’t know. Maybe I’m vain, but I always pictured me as more of a Luke-Perry-with-a-really-bad-hair-day type. It’s funny how I have a pretty sturdy love and acceptance of my own physique, and yet my self esteem about other things (like being a functional adult in this crazy world) is pretty dismal.
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

266. Collateral Splashing

Image
We recently installed a bidet in in our toilet. It was one of those external thingies you install between the toilet lid and the base. It was a fun project for us, we learned a lot about fighting in confined spaces.  It took me a few weeks before I could use it without giggling. This thing has no chill, you either preserve your butt integrity or you get blasted a couple of inches into undiscovered country. After a couple of weeks, though, it did become part of my routine. I soon noticed the collateral splash and I haven't stopped mentioning it, to my own (and only my own) amusement. This comic is an homage to Larry David’s humor and lasting appeal.  Like many of you, I’ve been on a Curb your Enthusiasm joyride lately. For some reason, I wasn’t interested in the show until recently, even though Larry David rants are extremely and historically resonant with me. I think my favorite part of the show is Cheryl’s disappointed/harried face and LD’s inability to detect it while riffing on
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

255. Urge to Purge

Image
My wife is a planner. She moves into the right lane as early as she can for a right turn, which could be 10 blocks or more away. She tests camping equipment weeks before camping. She has a paper planner... in the year of our lord 2023. She often checks menus before getting to the restaurant. She receives the first dose of the flu shot available in the United States every year. That's why I find these events hilarious. She knows she has a bladder and she knows that it needs to be emptied. And yet, in a few occurrences, she waits right to the seconds before a deadline to get it done. This happened last weekend as we were taking a train from Chicago to Kalamazoo and we were waiting for a whole hour before the estimated time in which we would be escorted single file into our train. Well she got the urge to purge seconds before we were escorted! And I, being the dependent (non-ticket having) husband, had to wait for her. The end result is never bad, but my anxiety gets a jolt. It's
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC