265. Puppet Show

Let me begin this by saying that in the current contest, I will vote for Biden happily and heartily. I am a Biden apologist, I’ve liked him since the Obama years. His gaffes are the gaffes of a boomer who has seen the world evolve and is trying to stay with it and not against it. 

That said, he’s old AF. Trump is old AF. This makes me out to be an ageist, I believe. In my defense, most of my friends will be octogenarians. Here’s the thing, I don’t think that these candidates are too old to do the job, I just think that the crown could have been ceded to a properly coached and introduced successor with enough time. They’ve both experienced their share of success, shouldn’t the goal be to show humility and sweep the floor in front of newer generations?

I don’t know if it’s because of internal polling or because of ego that Biden is considered the best choice for the United States. Whatever intel they used may have been flawed. In my mind, I dreamt of a Biden introducing some of his favored politicians during his term and allowing them to primary. But what do I know, I made a comic about weed-smoking chihuahuas.

I know it feels like I’m just beatin’ on Biden, but Trump is unsalvageable. Do you imagine that low-confidence turd handing his crown to anyone? Admitting he’s not the best man for the job? Doing anything ethically good for the world? Growing some balls and showing some vulnerability?

I’ve come to realize what the problem is with Trump. He only appeals to the self aware a-hole sector. Not all Republicans are a-holes, but if you’re an a-hole and you know it, you support Trump. He’s the Grand Wizard of being a douchebag. He’s the Douche & Gabanna of bags. It is known.

Just to reiterate who I would crawl on broken glass to the repeated sounds of Enya to vote for this November: it’s Biden.

In fact, here’s a list of people I would vote for over Trump:

I would vote for that person  next to you in the concert that is recording the concert even though they know very well that nobody, including them, will ever watch it -over Trump.

I would vote for the guy that stole our first girlfriends -over Trump.

I would vote for the engineer who makes sure our new dishwashers, dryers, toasters and cars aren’t as good as they were 30 years ago -over Trump.

How about you, reader…who would you vote over Trump? 

When I showed this comic to my friend Oeremy, he astutely replied that it’s more like this:


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