51. Piled On

From the vantage point of this respite I'm having from depression, thanks to therapy, medication and love; I can describe a bit how it felt. Not only does it not help knowing that you have 'no reason to be depressed', that knowledge is part of the stereophonic,self-hating dialogue that keeps you depressed. Guilt and depression like to hang out together, but the truth is that depression doesn't care about success. So don't be too hard on the successful depressed, their suffering is likely as real as anybody's. 

Comments

  1. saraJanuary 10, 2019 at 1:03 PM

    I don't need a reason to understand your depression and I don't have an answer on how to fix it.
    I am here for you. I'll sit next to you silently and just keep you company. I'll write you and won't need an answer. I'll send you a quote or a photo every day.... just because I want to. Just know I see you. You don't need to pretend with me. I'll watch TV while you nap. I am here for you. All I ask is that you allow me to care for you, to love you and that you will not question why I am here for you.
    It is what it is.

    - Those are the answers to the question of "I'm a little depress" that matter the most. Just because my life is better than others doe snot diminished my pain.

    PS: Of course I learn that thanks to therapy, medication and love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BanalhemorrhageJanuary 10, 2019 at 1:28 PM

      The only thing that matters is getting help. There is help. Many kinds. Some will click better than others.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Say some words, if you’d like!

Popular posts from this blog

294. Double Bubble Trouble

Image
I’ve been obsessed with drawing and describing our silos and bubbles that have become exponentially more and more pronounced. The surgical separation of humanity in two separate species by the United States is as fascinating as it is terrifying. Homo Liberalis and Homo Conservativus. And of course these terms have no semblance of consistency, as we see liberals and libertarians drifting apart and conservatives circling back to monarchy in the USA after a long period of separation. My first attempt was this one:  The blog post can be found  here . When I first posted that comic in Reddit, I made a lot of people angry.  Apparently, pointing out that people live in ideological bubbles is the same as saying both sides are equal. People’s reaction to the comic felt like denial to me. I think humans don’t seem to want to realize that they are in bubbles. But we are. Increasingly so.  And make no mistakes, these bubbles are artificially generated. I was listening to The Lie...
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

285. Regrets, too few to mention

Image
If you are one of the two or three people that read my blog with any form of consistency, you may have  noticed one thing. I’m a momma’s boy. Unashamedly, my mother is my hero. I ask her for advice constantly and I will never stop trying to honor her. In chauvinistic Venezuela during the chauvinistic 80s, a single mom of two, working in the chauvinistic profession of engineering, faced many challenges. What made her able to surmount her challenges was her determination to prove herself to herself at all times. She didn’t want to be seen as a woman doing a man’s job; she wanted to show the world what she could achieve. I only learned this later in life, but she doesn’t identify as a feminist, even though most people who knew her would consider her one. She identifies as a person that can do anything she sets her mind to. She’s incredibly driven. When I asked her what motivated her, she said that when she starts a new job, she looks at her boss and asks, ‘How can I become their boss ...
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

92. Never Google Your Doppleganger

Image
In my lifetime I have been told that I look exactly like some people that I would consider to be not perfect replicas of me. Maybe I have a better self esteem than I project, but I feel like I don’t look like “ The Critic ”; as was earnestly expressed by a girl on a (first and only) date. Other twinsies I’ve been professed to have: Steven Wright Tony Hale Stephen Miller (Aaaaargh) Dr. Katz I don’t know. Maybe I’m vain, but I always pictured me as more of a Luke-Perry-with-a-really-bad-hair-day type. It’s funny how I have a pretty sturdy love and acceptance of my own physique, and yet my self esteem about other things (like being a functional adult in this crazy world) is pretty dismal.
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

289. Old Friends

Image
Friendship in adulthood is difficult and not to be taken for granted. I hear tales of married couples with kids who now are limited to hanging out with the parents of kids they befriend. These situations fill me with anxiety, like hoping to get a real connection in a work networking event. The odds for authenticity are low and the opportunity for awkwardness high. For me, as an introvert, I’ve always relied on fun extroverts I feel comfortable around to take a liking to me and adopt me. I’ve been rich with friends throughout my life under this paradigm. But it gets more and more difficult as you age and stack up complications. It seems that after a certain period in life you are more likely to lose friends than to gain them. I’ve lost friends to so many causes, including: my depression episodes, their depression episodes, Trumpism, Chavismo, and the biggest killer, geography. I’ve lost friends because it’s been so long it’s kind of awkward now, and some to the fact I don’t enjoy partyi...
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

I’m Moving!

Image
Hi everyone! I will be moving this site to Patreon, mostly due to the fact that I don’t have enough time to handle html glitches and I don’t like paying an annual fee for this site and I hate having to put up ads to support the fee! I will keep this site for a while until everything has moved out and may keep it in the future as a place to direct people to find my Patreon if this works out. There will still be free content at Patreon, with the options to subscribe for more interactivity and shout outs.  So here’s my new home from now on: PATREON/BANALHEMORRHAGE Thanks for being there for me and sticking with me as I went from this: To whatever level I’m at today. 
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

291. Turbulence Ahead

Image
Marriage is not for the weak hearted. However,  it remains to this day the best decision I’ve ever made, to propose to this girl in an ornate pool in a temperate city in a beautiful South Asian country. At the beginning of the trip to this different corner of our known world, I had no idea I was going to pop the question. But pop went the question in my head and it was one of the most pervasive and intrusive thoughts I’ve had. I bought a 5 cent ring and proposed to her immediately.  Navigating these 8 years has been a learning opportunity for the both of us, as we have grown and the world around us has arguably grown as well. Thinking and reacting about how your spouse is feeling while realizing how you are feeling and what your surrounding loved ones are feeling would be a challenge for artificial intelligence and we’re just meat puppets with small buffers! Finding someone for whom you are willing to endure these kind of mental gymnastics is the biggest privilege I’ve ever kn...
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC

290. Modern Horror

Image
Hey classic horror films were fine and dandy back in the day. They had real horrors happening, too, with two world wars happening in the span between the first Frankenstein film (1910) and House of Dracula (1945). Monsters were a fantastical thing to fear in a time in which people were seeing human monstrosity on the daily.  Today, many regions are still experiencing daily horrors, but the things that terrify me the most don’t have legs, claws, fangs or bolts on their necks. It’s the realization of entrenched institutionalized racism, the obvious encroachment and popularity of white supremacist philosophies, the infinitesimal but prolonged deleterious effects of our lifestyles on the environment and the systematic erosion of truth and science. These are the things that are all around us and seem to be at a crescendo. These are the things that make me hide under the covers. The most impactful moment while viewing a horror film happened to me in 2017, eight years ago. The movie was “...
CLICK FOR FULL COMIC