Banal Hemorrhage

When realizing that I was nearing 100 comics, I thought about doing something special. I wanted to aggrandize the situation and leave a gift for my present and future supporters. Paralysis ensued. We are prisoners of our own expectations sometimes, are we not? Fear of success is a true thing, as ridiculous and pompous as that sounds. We all know successful people who are prisoners to their own success, somehow less happy and less themselves as they were when seeking that success. We’ve all heard of the depression and loss many astronauts feel after their missions. How do you one-up those experiences? I am not here to tell you not to be ambitious, this world would be a sad place without it. I feel the problem is that some people see the world as a ladder instead of a spiral. If you climb to a rung you do not enjoy, going down seems like reversing. It’s not. It’s progressing. What IS dangerous to your health is advancing without happiness or joy just for fear of going back. The wor

 A few years ago, I was in an improvement kick. I wanted to become a leader at work and be fit as a fiddle and aggressively meditate and all kinds of things. At one point I bit off more than I could chew and decided to slow down due to the anxiety it was generating. Improvement is great, but you have to make sure you are heading towards the things you want, not what society wants of you. Some of the things I was pursuing were not me. I find that what motivates me the most is looking into the rear-view mirror. It's not imagining a future that I don't know I will like. It's seeing how much you've changed in your journey. It's trends and bumps, not goal lines. The cool thing about this hobby is that I can see the absolute entirety of my progress. And I love all of my pieces (even if the world doesn't). For some reason I have no feelings of regret or shame when looking back; like some artists have expressed. I think these pieces are all an accurate representat

In my lifetime I have been told that I look exactly like some people that I would consider to be not perfect replicas of me. Maybe I have a better self esteem than I project, but I feel like I don’t look like “ The Critic ”; as was earnestly expressed by a girl on a (first and only) date. Other twinsies I’ve been professed to have: Steven Wright Tony Hale Stephen Miller (Aaaaargh) Dr. Katz I don’t know. Maybe I’m vain, but I always pictured me as more of a Luke-Perry-with-a-really-bad-hair-day type. It’s funny how I have a pretty sturdy love and acceptance of my own physique, and yet my self esteem about other things (like being a functional adult in this crazy world) is pretty dismal.

As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, millennials get blamed for everything these days. Has it happened like this before? When we were young everyone blamed the older folks, but for some reason now everything is the younger folk’s fault. Personally I agree with the murder of many of these things. I’ve never understood the fascination with golf or college football. I don’t understand how they are still a thing, and a huge thing at that! Unless they change the rules to allow robots or mutants, I don’t see myself getting into them. Napkins are just useless in a world that contains paper towels. Debate me on this. I sincerely don’t understand why we must have both, so I’m OK with their demise. Diamonds are forever stupid. When did we decide that they were symbols of love and wealth? They have felt unnecessary and gaudy to me all my life. What an unnecessary reason to pillage the earth and the workers who unearth them. Chain restaurants and malls had their time in the sun.

I don't know if you, dear readers, do this. I do, and it's a terrible habit. I do it with book series, movie shows and video games. I wonder if it is part of a bigger tendency, of people waiting until best possible moment that never arrives. How many bottles of perfectly aged wine remain unopened at the end of one's life? Some of my unfinished projects as of this writing: Red Dead Redemption 2 Mad Men Malazan Books Dragon Quest XI Firefly (I have one episode left, it hurts too much) Community It hurts even to write these. I will update this list if I get to them! My fatal disease of Scrotal Malware was chosen by our friend Hayley. Thanks for giving me an agonizing death! 

Based on a conversation about titmouse birds. But the birds are real! Learn about them here: Masked Booby Siamese Fireback Cock of the rock Letting your imagination run wild is not as wonderful as you might want. I spent all week imagining what a cock-on-the-rock would look like. This, my dear readers, is the more sanitized version.

Note: Trying out a minimalist art style for quick ones. This is an exaggeration of true events. Although HIPAA  does protect your personal information in many ways, the logistics of Healthcare make it nigh impossible to completely be private. When I got my vasectomy, we had to drop some semen samples afterwards to make double sure we got snipped correctly. Well you have to go from ,erm, production of the sample to testing within 30 minutes. I live 10 minutes away from work, thankfully. I can't imagine how people who live further away do it? Well I can, but I don't want to. When I got to the line for the lab, the nurse was like... any semen samples??? And 4 of us had to be like... yes. 2 of them I recognized from work. So it is what is. I don't care that much, but complying with it is a logistical problem more often than not.

Because you know there's probably already talks about doing a reality TV show with these two. Is it me or is everything that happens in the present state of United States politics making us dumber? It feels like we are constantly redefining rock bottom. We know that the religious right is a hypocritical bunch, gung-ho about abortion but silent about asylum and immigration. What I thought was the  dumbest thing about the United States, the guns, is like #12  since 2016. It has been extremely weird, but at the very least it has made people more active politically, which can only mean good things.

This has happened to me countless times. Even Goodwill and Salvation Army have been like “ya got any new colors my man?” Moving in with Roxanne and my new limited space for clothing hopefully helps.

Goka gotha n'ghft. Nog ron Cthulhunyth Throd mnahn uh'e llll vulgtm. The Masked Singer meets HPL .

Since writing this comic I saw a documentary about flat earthers. It was mildly sympathetic to the flat earthers so I feel kind of bad about this one. I still believe that the main problem is that they have too much certainty compared to the assumptions they are making. Intelligent people will always doubt themselves and unintelligent people will always be full of certainty. It’s the way it has always been. You have to wait until a certain percentage of the population is ready to receive your knowledge and them spray it all over their faces. But then, even when something has been established, you may get flat earthers and anti-vac people. We just have too many of us in the planet. I wonder what the red hat is all about?

I bet I'm not the only cat household who has had this dream. This is inspired by Khaleesi, of whom I made one of my first comics.

Alternate, Lynchian ending:

Lady parts do seem to make everything harder. I am more and more aware of this and I'm so sorry.

We are leaving all kinds of different traces nowadays!

You know they are coming for dinner one day! The first thing they'll let you know is that it's actually called entomophagy. This article is worth a read ... "My first meal taught me that crickets taste like dirt." "I woke up feeling depressed."But then I threw it up and continued to cry." Just the kind of reactions I fear!

When even your creations don't measure up to their expectations!

In all honesty though, I love the ad .

This is not original material. Someone told me a version of this joke back in 1999 when I was starting my studies in psychology. It was a great way to learn about the different disciplines, in a caricaturization. My chosen discipline is behaviorism, which focuses on behavior and the environment. We don’t know or worry much about what happens in that little noggin of ours, we mostly care about our overt behavior and the observable conditions that change it. It is perfect for me, as I find that the soft squishy feely feely stuff is hard to understand, control and replicate. And no, I don't mean penis when saying "soft squishy feely feely".

We all have a message to give. I just hope I don't end up going door to door for it.